Imagine looking into a department store window at the mannequins displaying the latest fashions. All of a sudden you see a reflection of yourself standing right alongside these fashionable, faceless people. When we are networking, we are essentially looking into the window of other peoples’ lives and, in doing so, we are reflecting their life back on our own.
The value of a network becomes vital when we are looking for a new job. Too often it’s the crisis moment when we finally decide we have enough time to schedule meetings with former colleagues, people from LinkedIn or the father from our kid’s softball team. However, networking has great value even when you are not “looking for a new opportunity”— and it will pay dividends when you really need it.
When we get together with other people without the pressure of achieving a personal agenda, there can be a lot less stress and preparation. Even for the faint of heart, networking can be enjoyable. It’s pretty easy if you set up the expectations for your networking partner that you just want to “catch up” with people you know or “learn about their experiences” with people you know less well. This type of networking is not intended to be one you would invite your CEO, a desired future employer or someone who might be a mentor, for example.
The desired outcome is to learn. Everyone around us has a unique story or perspective or some information that would be exciting or useful to learn if you are willing to ask. This information or their background does not need to be inherently and immediately relevant to your current work or life situation. These alternative perspectives and experiences you can learn from others are enriching in their own right, and like doing art, reading or having a hobby outside of work, can inspire additional creativity in your work time.
Invariably, while we are listening to another person’s stories or recalling them afterward, we will reflect their experiences onto our own; their choices against ours; their skills and abilities compared to our own. Reflecting on these experiences can and should challenge us to learn, grow and develop. We will ask ourselves questions like: Would I do that? Would I be able to do that? What would happen if I was in such a situation? I wonder if that would be a good idea for me to try that too?
Who would you like to talk with? Who do you want to know better? What are you curious about learning? Who is a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while?
Most people really enjoy talking about themselves — their experiences, decisions, opinions, dreams and aspirations. My guess, if someone was really listening, you would too. Asking for someone else’s story does not necessarily mean that you have to give your story too, but it will be valuable for the other person to hear what you learned from them, what interested you about their story. Putting the reflective expectation on yourself makes the networking time most impactful for your own growth and development. In this way, you get the most out of the experience. Challenge yourself to summarize the conversation, right there with your networking partner, before you leave.
And while your networking partner is listening to you capture what you heard from them, they are looking also into your window, learning about you and in-turn reflecting on what they just shared with you — learning what was interesting and exciting to you and, in doing so, learn something about themselves. That is the gift you give in return for their time.
By hearing, or even reading, other people’s stories we become inspired, and we become challenged. We respond by changing our mind about a subject or we become stronger in our convictions. Networking results in learning more about ourselves, and that is why looking into the window of someone else’s life also gives us the opportunity to reflect on our own.
If you are looking for someone to practice networking and reflection. Just ask me. I’ll be happy to help you get started.
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